Top Chef

As you may have observed from my earlier posts, I love food. Especially eating it.
So its only the nest natural leap that I would also want to learn to cook it myself. This, however, is easier said than done. I was disappointed after the disastrous episode of the failed cake (see post titled "whoops") and anxious to redeem myself. After the burnt cake fiasco,the grandmother of my first family (picture a stereotypical sassy southern Italian woman) informed me that I probably wasn't ever going to get married, and if I did, the poor sucker was in for a rough life (or at least his digestive tract, anyway).The inability to cook (especially in someone of the feminine persuasion) in Italy is a bonafide handicap, enough to render one useless in the eyes of society (no kidding here folks, I've gotten ear-fulls from just about everyone woman to witness my shortcoming in the kitchen). This however was not my primary motivation for this new-found (and no doubt surprising to those at home) interest in the world of culinary arts. The idea that people can create food, beautiful, wonderful, edible, food out of mere raw ingredients fascinates me to no end.  I've been known to be held captive by food network for hours on end, spellbound by people who seem to have the ability to make breads, cakes, and full meals out a hand-full of simple ingredients. The extent of my culinary knowledge ranges into the realms of Ramen and toast, and what little I've managed to pick up from the sparse attention payed to my own mother's expertise in the kitchen. Armed with my very limited knowledge, flour, sugar, butter, and chocolate, I set out to prepare the simplest of recipes for my family- Chocolate Chip Cookies.
I was defeated from the very start. Admittedly, I probably shouldn't have gotten my family so excited over this doomed batch of cookies (cursed Betty Crocker for making me think I could cook!!) but I couldn't help but try to psyche them (and myself) up just a bit. Long story short, the dough resembled choc-chip concrete that I failed to give adequate space on the tray, causing the sloppily formed spheres of dough to form one giant Cookie-zilla in the oven, that completely covered the cookie pan from edge to edge.When I attempted to extract the enormous cookie from its metallic prison, it crumbled into a zillion pieces, revealing a slightly burnt bottom. Excellent.
Cookie involves two things which I fundamentally detest: patience, and following instructions.
Its going to be a while before my foodnetwork debut.